Honor Thy Wife:
A 31-Day Spiritual Journey of Marital Renewal
Kevin LowryISBN 9798992489705
ASIN B0D395R232
First I want to state I have read all the book by Kevin and some more than once. This is a volume I will read more than once. I rushed through it. And once the eBook edition released will work through it over the intended 31 days. I have never met Kevin in person but do consider him a friend. And this volume is one any Catholic Husband would benefit from reading.
The description of this volume states:
“Married for over 35 years, Kevin Lowry has spent most of that time learning how to love, honor, and cherish his wife better. In this delightful, easy-to-read book, he shares a month’s-worth of stories and the lessons he learned along the way. Each day’s story then turns into an action item designed to help husbands renew their wedding vow to honor their wife.
A great devotional to do annually in the month leading up to a wedding anniversary, it can also be repeated every month. Husbands, don’t wait, commit to honoring your wife today, and order a copy of Honor Thy Wife.”
The chapters in the work are:
Preface
Introduction
Day 1: Remember
Day 2: Pray
Day 3: Work on Yourself
Day 4: Speak to Her with Honor
Day 5: Speak About Her with Honor at Work
Day 6: Speak About Her with Honor at Home
Day 7: Lead Through Sacrifice
Day 8: Banish Anger
Day 9: Where Are Your Eyes?
Day 10: Protect Your Marriage
Day 11: Practice Gratitude
Day 12: Prioritize Her Above Work
Day 13: Give Her Children
Day 14: Respect Her Freedom
Day 15: Renew Your Commitment
Day 16: Be Present to Her
Day 17: Help Her Breathe
Day 18: Be Humble
Day 19: Be Her Friend
Day 20: Listen
Day 21: Ask For Forgiveness
Day 22: Forgive Her
Day 23: Complement (and Compliment) Her
Day 24: Trust the Sacred Heart Day 25: Date Her
Day 26: Ease Her Fears
Day 27: Communicate With Her
Day 28: Let Her Decide
Day 29: Help Her When She Hits a Wall
Day 30: Lead Her in Faith
Day 31: Persevere With Her
Prayers for Marriage
Acknowledgements
The introduction opens with:
“When I told my wife that I wanted to write this book, she laughed.
To be fair, it wasn’t a scornful laugh. It was more of a “Dude, you haven’t
always done the greatest job in that area yourself,” laugh of wry
amusement. I didn’t quite catch if there was an eye roll to go along with it.
Of course, she’s right. I haven’t always been the best husband. I became
aware of the need to do a better job of honoring my wife early in our
marriage, with an incident that was a jarring eye-opener for me.”
When I read those words they absolutely resonated for me. My own marriage has been work, and yet even through the hard times we have been protected and watched over by God.
A sample day:
“Day 8: Banish Anger
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
Proverbs 29:11
Among my greatest regrets is the anger that existed in my family when the oldest kids were little.
We had our first three kids in two years and eight months. No twins, just great chemistry between Kathi and me. I barely remember 1993 due to sleep deprivation. My career in a CPA firm was high-stress, and particularly during tax season the hours required were insane. It seemed like no matter how hard I worked, there was always more to do.
One incident particularly stands out in my mind. Our two boys shared a room next to us in our small, two-bedroom apartment; our infant daughter was in our room. One night, the kids seemed to be taking turns waking up… and waking us up, too. Our oldest son seemed particularly inconsolable. It didn’t help that I had a high-pressure business meeting scheduled for the next morning. My career was in its infancy, and as the sole provider for the family, I was desperate to keep it on track.
Sometime around 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning, our oldest son woke up again for about the fifth time. Not even three years old, he screamed with an intensity I couldn’t fathom. Exhausted, stressed beyond reason, and utterly spent, I went into his room and gave him a couple swats on his rear end. My wife, herself exhausted, went to console him as even greater misery poured forth, waking up the other babies and making my agony complete.
My wife took our son to the doctor’s office the next day. He had an ear infection.
This incident took place decades ago, and it still brings tears to my eyes. I’m heartbroken that in that moment of profound need, my son found an angry, selfish father rather than comfort. I love my son tremendously, and this remains among my worst parenting memories. Regret doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about that night.
Anger, in retrospect, was a desperate attempt to manipulate others within the family. It has also characterized some of the most toxic, unproductive arguments my wife and I have ever had.
Years ago, a new perspective helped us make a shift. Kathi heard a priest talk about anger, and one comment hit her between the eyes: “Anger is a funny emotion. It’s there for a reason. God put it there as a reminder of when we need to run to Jesus.”
Have you ever hurt those you love as a result of anger? I don’t know about you, but through my mistakes, especially early in our marriage,
I have tried hard to become increasingly gentle-hearted toward Kathi and our kids, and now our grandkids. I’m still a work in process, but by grace, I’ve come a long way. The anger that was common early in our marriage has largely evaporated. It can happen to you, too.
Mindset
Recognize anger as a portal to grave sin and a trap of the devil. It is a destructive force within marriages and families. If this is a weakness for you, it’s an extremely worthy and profitable struggle to engage.
Action Item
Take your intention to banish anger to prayer. Go to confession. Seek the Blessed Sacrament in adoration. Listen and firmly resolve to change. If you need further help, consider counseling to make behavioral changes that will benefit you and radiate outwards.”
I picked that one to share because it is one I have really had to work on. And it really spoke to me. I also appreciated Kevin’s vulnerability in sharing that information. Each day of the 32 days has those same sections:
Title
Biblical Verse
Reflection/meditation
Mindset
Action Item.
There are lots of books our there for Catholic men, and even more if you expand to just Christian books. I have read many over the years. And I can easily state this is one of the best. This is a volume any Catholic man who is married would benefit from reading. I can also say to young adult men who are not married reading it will prepare your heart and help you grow for if and when you are married.
The excellent section on prayer in marriage at the end of the volume include:
The Rosary
The Divine Mercy Chaplet
The Memorare
Prayer for a Married Couple
In Challenging Time
Prayer of ST. John Paul II for Families
Intercessory Prayer to St. Raphael for Troubled Marriages
Prayer to Blessed Karl of Austria
Novena to Saints Louis and Zelie Martin
For God's Presence
This is one of the best volumes I have ever read for Christian husbands. Whether you have read anything from the pen of Lowry or not, I challenge you to pick this up and work through it at least once. An excellent volume I strongly recommend!
Note: This book is part of a series of reviews: 2024 Catholic Reading Plan!
Books by Kevin Lowry:
Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck
How God Hauled Me Kicking and Screaming Into the Catholic Church
Five Weird Catholic Beliefs that Actually Make Sense
Contributed To:
Surprised By Truth 2
Man Up! Becoming the New Catholic Renaissance Man
Word by Word: Slowing Down with the Hail Mary
Author Profile and Interview with Kevin Lowry.
…
Contributed To:
Surprised By Truth 2
Man Up! Becoming the New Catholic Renaissance Man
Word by Word: Slowing Down with the Hail Mary
Author Profile and Interview with Kevin Lowry.
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